Shaun...
youre right. ill never forget how your skin feels, or the look in your eyes the 1st time i ever told you i would marry you right then and there. or how every part of you magicaly fits perfects somewhere on my body. but i havent kissed touched or looked at anybody. nor do i want to. but you’ve havnt been so innocent yourself… people talk and ik what you did. you know what you were doing when you were with him. and i know when it happened. you thought to yourself thats it… now its really over. ill love you forever but im done going to jail for you. you never loved me like i love you. you dont know how to. you think you do but you didnt becasue at the end of the day im still here and you took the pussy way out.
dont focus on the splinter in your eye until you remove the log from yours.. i may have screwed up. i may have yelled and hollared and not been the best bf but you hurt me in everyway i hurt you. i hope thats what puts sleep well at night… because youre not a good person. at least i manned up to my mistake and i took responsibility for what i did. im not a cold person i didnt get scared create a lie and live it..
just remember i will always love you. and you know my number adress and where i sleep at night. drop by sometime if you ever have something to say, but dont bother calling… when you finnally man up to your side of it. maybe ill give you the time of day but until you know how to be true im not there for you….
and one last thing.. theres nothing worse then being a liar, other then living your life in a lie. and youre doing both… sleep tight boo<3
she said she’d be there for me. forever and always… she held me as i told her some of the hardest things ive ever told anyone.. and she looked me in the eyes and said “baby no matter what happens, youll always have me.. ill never ever let someone hurt you again” and now look… because i said happy birthday to a girl on her birthday. i can never talk to the girl i love more than anything again.. because she turned her back on me after having sex with me telling me everything was better. that what she needed at the end of the day was me. but thats all bullshit. you leaving me and turning your back on me for good. shows me that you never loved me the way i loved you. yeah i may have had a shitty way of showing you sometimes. but at the end of all this. whos here for who? and who left because they cant handle it.. love will make you do crazy things. and if you really loved me you’d be here right now. gotta figure out who is real. and whos fake… because when its real it never fades.. and i will be here until 3 days after forever. because unlike you. when i said it i meant it.. because i dont fill someones hopes and dream up. and then crush them because i am not able to handle it… ive put my self through much worse to make sure you were okay at night. but of course… you had to take the easy way out… and hide behind the scenes with your fake friends who use you for your money.. and your parents who snap there emotions on you like a light switch.. i hope this is what you wanted! i hope this makes you happy. losing the people we both worked so hard to get, and know, and learn like the back of our hands.. you dont know how to love anyone. becuase you cant see past the end of your nose… because at the end of the day. its all about you. always has been. always will be.. hope youre happy with the decisions you’ve made. and i hope you realize. you’ll never have another relationship. like ours! because were a match made in heaven. we just have bumps in the road like everyone… but i guess your to good to be like everyone else. i love you to death boo, if you ever figure out what it really is you want in life.. you come down and see me face to face. and tell me what it is. because your big and tough on the computer.. but i see a little innocent scared girl. when i look into your eyes.. love you. see you 3 days after forever. bye bug! hope your happy and life brings you what you want out of it.
its kinda fucked up to see how much your life can go to shit in a year… exactly a year ago. i was at the top of the world. i had a family with some money. getting back on their feet, i had the most amazing girlfriend. she’s my bestfriend. exactly a year ago. i was sitting in her room hiding and playing games with her mother telling her she couldnt see me because i was making her a card. and she loved it, when she saw what i had wrote her. she broke down into tears and gave me a huge hug.. today 365 days later. i sit here alone. with no bestfriend. with a girl that is to afraid to even look at me. when all i want is for her to just smile and tell me she loves me again. for her family to look at me like i am the man. for her little brother to look up and want to be like me when he’s older… but i’ll never see that again. because shes not willing to give me the chance i need to prove her that im not that kid you think i am. that i am the person you know i am. that i am a good person, that i have and will show you that i love you.. a month ago. everything seemed so important to fix right then and there.. to come over and make you re-fall in love with me. but in the end i fucked it all up. and you wont even look at me the same way… ill tell you until i am blue in the face it will never happen again. you were afraid to open up to me and show me who you really were at first. and as soon as you did you fell in love with your bestfriend…. you tell me you still love me and you tell me you can live without me… well why dont you prove it. let yourself open up. give me the chance i need and i promise i will not dissapoint you.. i think you need to go downstairs and get that card off your mantel and remember the person i really am.. because i am not this monster you have pictured in your head… happy mothers day.. i love you always have and always will… weather you finally figure out that we are meant to be or not. youll always be in my heart.. 3 days after forever.. i said it and meant it <3
all i want in this life is youto show you i love youeach and everyday i want to be the person that you think of when you need help.. i just want my old BOO BACK ALREADY! i am sorry for what i did. i really am and i hope you know and believe that.. because honestly i never would have thought in a million years. to ever put my hands on you to hurt you i swear.. i love you buggaboo. and i just want you back in my arms where you belong.
3 days after forever!! always baby girl<333
you’re all I really want.
Fuck the clothes, money, materialistic objects.
I just want you here with me. And I’ll be happy
im sad. do you miss me enough yet to want me back? i miss you more than i could ever express. what we had was beautiful and then you had to just walk away from me.
Come back to me like you would if this was a movie.
cutegirl:
ive fucked up, i dont deserve you. you dont want me back… and theres nothing i can do, i just want you to know. i do love you. i always have and i always will. i know i havnt been the best boyfriend, or a good person to you at times. but just know that i did try. i tried to be the best guy for you. the guy you wanted and needed. and i guess i just didnt know how to be. maybe i never will. but i will never forget you. or any part of your family and how you helped me get through a sickness i never thought id rise above of.. i thank you for pushing me to do greatness and make me the best me.. i thank you for teaching me and showing me that what other people have to say means jack shit. because honestly all that matters to me in this world isyou…it always has been and always will be. i dont have the best way of showing my emotions or letting people in to know the real me. youre the only one on this planet who knows the real me. and deep down that scares the shit out of me. i am just to stupid to let anyone else know or show you that i do care. becuase i am to afraid of being hurt again and being left.. alone and have you turn your back on me… like everyone else has in my life. ive lost everything trying to fight for you. my parents wont talk to me. my dad told me that i am a piece of shit women abuser. and that he wants nothing to do with me and that when he comes up in a month. he wont be coming to see me. he’ll be coming to get my baby sister. and theres nothing i can do about it. i am so scared and lost… and i guess if i had realized this before i had fucked up so bad and gone down this path. that you would want to be with me. that youd be the girl under my arm at the end of the day.. but i was to stupid.. and i didnt see it, and i fucked every good thing up in my life. and now ive lost everything and i am where i should have been from the start of all this… becuase i never deserved you. i told you that i didnt the first day i met you. i told you that you wouldnt be able to handle me.. because i am a fuck up. and you didnt believe me… you were the one warning me at the begining of the relationship, and i told you i love a challenge. and look at us now.. its not me turning my back on you.. but its you running from me because i fucked up and scared you so bad.. i want you to know that i never meant to hurt you and i am so sorry…. but sorry doesnt cut it. and trust me. when we go to court. and i get charged for this. ill get what i deserve and ill rot away wherever they leave me.. like i deserve. because thats all ive deserved since day #1.. i havent eatin or slept in 3 days. i am slowly dieing here. without you. day by day. and theres nothing i can do about it. becuase the harder i fight for you. the farther the gap become between us.. i just want you to know. that i do love you. and you dont wanna be with me. and i am just going to have to live with that fact. for the rest of my life. it scares the shit out of me. to know that i am walking into the same situation my mom was in when she was 16.. and i know now that i will regret losing you for the rest of my life.. and that ik you should be the one im with when im 40.. and i have to live day by day.. knowing that the only person who fucked my future up.. is me.. and that i have to live with that for the rest of my life.. and know theres nothing i can do to change that.. becuase im not even aloud to talk to you. i love you buggaboo<3 i always have.. and always will until 3 days after forever. and if there ever comes a day. that you do want to talk. know i am here you know how to get ahold of me. facebook phone. anything. show up at my house if you want.. your always welcome… ill be in the tent. on sunday at 1:00 ill be waiting.. ill wait forever for you. your my one and only. and if that means not being with anyone else for the rest of my life. then so be it.. becuase your worth the wait. i am sorry. and i love you.. its all up to you.. whatever you want to do. becuase everything ive tried to do makes it worse.. im here for anything. because your still my bestfriend. no matter what. i love you katie. may your neighbors respect you, trouble neglect you, angels protect you, and heaven accept you! becuse you deserve the greatness… becuase when its real… it doesnt fade…
Proud of myself for once. Happy to be me. To believe in myself, and know I’m going to be okay. And I can’t seem to feel that way at all.
